Today was beautiful -- sunny, a little windy, bright, cheerful, a tad too cold. It was also the day that one of my best friends was married. She's come such a long way from the girl who stood across from me on her wall.. her nerves mimicked in my same safety gesture, eyes on the floor.. too terrified to speak to each other.
The ceremony was wonderful. Her uncle is a minister, so he performed the ceremony. We all stood on taped numbers on the staircase at the theatre -- with Wendy's tape reading "Warden" and Daniel's reading "Prisoner" (guess whose family member put those down?) The setup was gorgeous. The wedding was even entertaining.
See, the minister had held onto Daniel's ring for safe keeping (since it's large and having it on Wendy's sister's finger was dangerous in that case). Thus, the ring was in his coat pocket. In review: ring in minster's COAT pocket, minister in robes, COAT in box office. At the time to exchange rings, he stares expectantly at the matron of honor. She stares back. Wendy turns back and goes "oh crap!". Now, yesterday he told us how ministers will tell people to "bow their heads in prayer" to cover for mistakes. So now he says it.. and the bridal party nearly erupts into laughter. Then he turns to the groomsman standing beside me and murmurs "I need your ring." Groomsman proceeds trying to yank it off his finger -- it barely fit on any of Daniel's fingers!
Memphis has been interesting in other ways. I've seen a lot of people I haven't gotten to see in awhile, and I've been surprised at how a lot of them have changed in ways I haven't expected. I was the first person to step foot inside the house of a man who I haven't spoken too at all since I left in May. I had lunch with a girl I adore and never see enough of who hates herself... and hours after I left her, discovered her fiance will soon leave for Iraq. I saw a guy who's lost and searching for a way out in anyway he can - even if that means fleeing the country. And I saw someone I adore who has changed in ways that I'm not quite sure I can handle for much longer. He's always reminded me of Casey.. and at first that was endearing. I love Casey. He is..was.. an amazing person who's infallibility was destroyed and that destroyed him... and I'm terrified of watching that happen to my friend. His ego has grown to such grandeur because he is never turned down. He broke the heart of a dear friend.. and I chalked it up to youthful indiscretion. But I'm seeing it more now in ego and lack of priorities and it kills me. I do not want to lose another friend to drugs.. or to their own beliefs.
Memphis was my home for 18 years, but it's feeling less like home these days. I used to cry to leave, but I think I will be glad tomorrow to be leaving to a place that is more home like now. Maybe it's because Maryland is now where my friends are. It's where I'm accepted and loved and where I think of theatre now. Theatre Memphis where I once worked, ate, and yes, even slept... is no longer home. It's not what I refer to when I say "the theatre" anymore. And this is the first trip where I've been able to see that.
Don't get me wrong. Memphis will always have a special place in my heart. I will always remember the sprawling streets, the insane traffic, the people. Theatre Memphis will always be where I first fell in love with theatre and where I met many of the friends who helped me survive high school. But it's not home. And I think that kills me just a little.
